she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
