We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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