Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
