Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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