Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
