It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize