I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Someone came in the potted fern
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
