Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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