Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
