Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
