And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize