i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
