oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
