Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
