After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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