remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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