This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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