what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
