You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
