What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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