Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
