dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
