Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
