I'd wear matching sweaters with you
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
