I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
