Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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