I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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