I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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