none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
