There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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