i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize