You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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