I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
