you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
