Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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