In the future we'll all be gay
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
