the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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