Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize