He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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