If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize