id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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