I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
ttyl tear gas
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
im on a boat
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