Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
