What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
