My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
