You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she told me i tasted like america
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
