I have demons in me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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