Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You pole danced in your parka.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
