JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
