I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
