did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
