We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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