haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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