Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
