How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
