Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
