everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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