Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
