I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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