Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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