Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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